Tag Archives: humor

31 Days of Random Questions – Day 2

What animal would you like to be for a day and why?
I would like to be a lizard so I could nap on a warm rock in the sun for hours without getting sunburned. Plus it would be fun to climb around on rocks and trees. I know they eat bugs but, if I were a lizard, I’d probably think they tasted delicious.

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Drawing a Blank

On an April 9th in the 1980s, I received what I thought was the greatest birthday present ever: a baby sister born the day before my second birthday. Decades later, I still hold the same opinion.

I tend to remember random events and stories and experiences in vivid detail for a very long time. A couple years ago, my mom (ever the scientist) quizzed me to see how far back I could remember. I was able to recall an entire conversation I had with a family friend before I was two. As I rummaged through my memories, looking for milestones, I grew puzzled. “Mom, I don’t remember going to the hospital to see Sara when she was born. I remember Sally* still in her package but I have no memory of going to the hospital and I know I was excited about seeing her.”

A sheepish look crept across Mom’s face, “Oh. Um, there’s a reason for that.”

“What, you didn’t let me go?”

“Well, you had a cold so when Dad went home [from the hospital after Sara was born], I told him to give you 1/2 teaspoon** of Dimetapp. When he brought you to the hospital, you looked worse. You were kind of lethargic and your eyes were a little glazed. I thought you might have meningitis or something and thought to myself, ‘Oh, no, we’re all going to be in the hospital!’ I asked Dad if he gave you the Dimetapp. He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘How much?’

‘1/2 tablespoon.’**

So you don’t remember because you were overdosed on cold medicine.”

Units matter, people.

*Sally was the doll I received the next day. She is on the far right in the earliest picture of Sara and me.

**Edited because my mom says it was 1/2 teaspoon/tablespoon instead of 2.

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Ping-Pong Ball Sweetness

In one of our earliest conversations, my boyfriend and I talked about what superpower each of us would most like to have. (No, I do not imagine superpowers appear on most lists of questions to ask a potential date, but it sure was fun!)

He chose super speed, a lá Dash on The Incredibles.  I chose the ability to throw a ping-pong ball from wherever I am and hit anyone in the world, wherever they are (with an impact speed as if I’d thrown it from across the room). It would be very handy, I explained, as a way to send brief messages. It would not actually hurt anyone, though they would not necessarily know where it came from. It could communicate annoyance or affection depending on context. I could use it get people’s attention or simply to pester my younger brothers who live in different towns. Naturally, I was serious, having given it a great deal of consideration, and he thought it was hilarious.

A couple months later, he brought me a present when he came to visit. Inside a green gift bag (my favorite color) and tissue paper, I found a package holding three ping-pong balls. I was so happy with the ping-pong balls, I did not notice the package had spaces for six until he pointed it out. He explained he put one in his apartment, one in his car, and one in his office at work “to remind me of you… Not that I really need a reminder. And since you already have my attention, you can use these for someone else.”

Now there are two ping-pong balls in my living room and one on my desk at work. I smile every time I see them.

 

Update: Read the next ping-pong chapter here.

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